Not Just Golf: The Candidates Talk Leisure Time
February 2nd,2057
Newsfax reporter Carlene Danvers recently caught up with the major presidential candidates and asked the question that's foremost on the mind of all UCASers: What's your favorite way to spend a weekend off?
Arthur Vogel (One World Democrat): "Well, I rarely have an entire weekend 'off,' but optimally? I quite enjoy hiking, camping, and enjoying the great outdoors. Of course I haven't been able to do that in some time. When I can't get out to the wilds, I like to try out new restaurants; it's my little hobby."
Rozalyn Hernandez (New Century Party): "My weekends are usually spent in seminars and meetings. Were I to have a complete weekend off, I would likely spend it catching up on some reading I've been meaning to get to. I have a book on metaplanar transfixion that I'm quite curious about."
James Booth (Technocrat): "One word: golf. I'm a fearsome golfer. I also like to watch Urban Brawl. My daughter Kiara and I catch games on the trid, and we to go to arena brawls whenever we have the chance."
General Yeats (Republican): "I haven't had a weekend 'off' since the Chicago Containment Zone went up, and I'm retired. I live in Chicago. Any leisure activities I might want to pursue are trapped behind the containment wall. Weekend off? That's a goddamned inane question. If I had a weekend off, I'd spend it trying to fix the unacceptable mess this country is in."
Kenneth Brackhaven (Archconservative): "I go to church every Sunday. Prayer is more important today than ever before. If more people spent their Sundays in church, perhaps our nation wouldn't be the fractured, liberal remnant that it is today."
Dunkelzahn (Independent): "What a strange question for a political candidate. Ah well, I suppose a great many UCAS citizens are curious as to the daily dalliances of a dragon. Firstly, Carlene, you must understand that, as a dragon, I am capable of a high degree of multitasking, so it is not uncommon for me to work and 'play' simultaneously. Were I to devote an entire weekend to leisure, I would likely play around in the matrix for a bit, then spend the rest of the day listening to music and reading. I've recently acquired some rare comic books that I'm anxious to go over. I suppose I might also fly over and watch the Mountain Dragons, my urban brawl team, practicing. I find their tenacity inspiring."
16 comments:
Weekend off? That's a goddamned inane question. If I had a weekend off, I'd spend it trying to fix the unacceptable mess this country is in.
Right fraggin' on!
-Vote Yeats! Kill a Redskin! Get America back!
"Football"?
Did you pick that name based on the shape of your head? Or did you mean "football" in the European sense, so as to encourage us to kick you?
I wonder, have you considered...*if* Yeats did win, and *if* he managed to motivate this Beetle-zombie nation to go to war, and *if* he managed to somehow overcome the NAN...do you think the CAS will be coming along quietly? Again, we're doing just fine down here, thankee very much, and the prospect of you Yanks mucking it up for us makes me really interested in taking up soccer. That was another joke on your name, if you were wondering, keep up now, drek-head.
Also? Just a question, I'm not REAL familiar with the Yeats platform, on account of it's utter inanity, but, if he's planning on returning the UCAS to it's former glory as the USA, will he be giving Canada back when he's done? Just curious. You *do* know they weren't a part of the "original" nation, right?
I would lament on the sad state of political commentary this day and age, but sadly, I'm too informed. It's really always been this bad.
Anyway, no surprises here. Vogel spends his time appreciating the natural world; Hernandez, magical knowledge; Brackhaven, God. And predictably, Yeats would do something properly militaristic, probably yelling some combination of "Delta", "force", and "kick ass". But of course, they're all so, so busy. The world's in bad shape when you need to count on the dragon to give you a straight answer.
I dunno...seems sensible to me...if I were a multi-ton, super-intelligent, winged terror from before recorded history I'd speak plainly too. I mean, who's gonna say boo?
Though, really, I wonder...how much of what he's saying is really truth? I mean, it seems more like he's just picking stuff that will make him sound more "meta-human..."
Look at all the vote pandering.
Vogel: I like trees.
Hernandez: I'm smarter than you.
Yeats: Kill! Kill! Kill!
Dunkelzahn: I'm like you, really!
What I love is Booth, who's answer seems to be pandering to corporate CEOs.
If a candidate isn't "vote pandering" then what the HELL are they supposed to be doing?
This is ridiculous people. I can't believe that nobody else on here seems to have a problem with the fact that we have a DRAGON running for president. Dragons aren't people. Wasn't that long ago that they were considered monsters and myths. So the myth proves true and we forget the fact that they were monsters. Human memory just might have some remaining truth buried in there folks. These things are evil. Where were they? What's their agenda? Are we to believe that they were just waiting around to show up out of the blue and help mankind? Do you really think that they have survived wherever they were and surfaced now just to, I dunno own a corporation? Run for elected positions? Watch their Fraggin' football team practice? What is wrong with all of you? The dragons are the most serious threat to mankind that we have ever faced and something must be done about them.
St. George, you obviously need to stop slotting all those Fantasy BTLs. Dragons are people, just like any other. Really, really, smart people. And strong. And carnivorous.
George: I kinda wonder how you think your observations set dragons apart from any other politician? Other than the whole multi-millennial hibernation (or whatever) thing, it seems pretty much six-of-one to me.
First of all imp, I have never slotted a chip of any kind. Secondly, I find your assertion that dragons are people rather baffling and would ask you to please prove your assertion or at the very least make a reasonable argument to that effect. Dragons are quite clearly NOT people. They are mysterious, powerful, and enigmatic members of a race which has never even been anything resembling human. They have more in common with your average crocodile than they do with "people". As to your statements colonel, I truly wish that I could argue with you as to the trustworthiness or integrity of any of our political choices, but we both know that would be foolish on my part. Don't you think we should at least be drawing some lines about who or rather WHAT is able to take a seat within our governments? I seem to recall some rumors about some giant snakes supposedly exploding things around Seattle early this year, maybe we should put some of them on the ticket. Or the poorly represented Unicorn minorities. For Heaven's sake people, can't we just think about this rationally for a moment and keep anything that might potentially view us as prey out of politics?
George: See...now...again...are you going to tell me that you honestly think that your average wealthy businessman doesn't essentially see the common people as prey? Ever worked in marketing or sales? I'll grant, they're not trying to eat our flesh (for the most part), but in the end it all works out the same. You go ahead and spend one day as a sales rep for Ares (maker, by the way, of the "Predator," if you've not heard) and come back and tell me that the people running the corps don't view the citizenry as prey...
Oh...and who runs for office?
Is it the "prey?"
No sir.
It's not a question, with any politician, whether or not we're on the menu. The question is: what do they do to maintain the uneaten members of the herd in the meantime?
First off, check your Danchecker. No variety of unicornate has displayed measurable sentience. Even if the common north American unicorn was sentient, all unicornates have a severe allergy to pollutants and so would be unable to campaign in major population areas, thus losing the race before even starting to run.
Hyperbole is wasted on the young.
I appreciate where you're coming from Colonel and I truly mean no disrespect. That being said though, it seems to me, judging by some of your earlier posts, that you are able to comment from a slightly safer distance. There is little chance of a dragon winning the presidency of the CAS. It's hard to get people to take the dragon threat seriously due to the talk shows and media coverage that mostly want to portray dragons as "just like us, only bigger." That thought seems laughable to me. How can a race of seemingly immortal, magical reptiles be seen as even similar to us? Colonel, I hope we get the chance to meet some day and talk a little bit about dragons over a drink or two.
Well George...
If you're ever in Seattle, look me up.
As for the humanity of dragons...*shrug*...see earlier comments. Have you seen the way, say, Fuchi execs treat their employees? Or anyone else for that matter?
I guess I look at it this way: if the aforementioned mega-powerful, immortal reptile (are they technically "reptiles?") wanted to do bad things to us, he could. He wouldn't have to run for office to do it. Who's gonna stop him? I'm more likely to trust someone who's choosing to play by the rules than someone who "has to."
Who wants a meta-human president anyway? What's the advantage other than he's easier to assassinate. At least with a Wyrm in office, you won't have to worry about paying the Secret Service.
Finally a question that REALLY matters. I'm glad it was asked. It had to be. I feel such an incite into each and every candidate now.
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