Pricuricu: Innocent Awakened Animal Or Threat to Jobs?
February 9th, 2057
By now, everyone has heard the presidential hullabaloo about Federated Boeing's eradication of local pricuricu colonies. Everyone in Seattle remembers the massive protests at Boeing field that blocked downtown traffic and prompted Lone Star's Riot Division to mobilize in order to prevent violence from the vocal mob. Coincidentally, this large conservation protest managed to happen when Democratic "One-World Party" candidate, and self-proclaimed eco-activist Arthur Vogel was in Seattle on his election P.R. tour.
Rather than denounce the angry gathering, Vogel rushed to a podium (already built when he arrived), and addressed the crowd. Vogel thanked the rioters for coming, then spoke of the UCAS' duty to put the rights of paranormal animals over those of "oppressive" corporate interests. He defended the pricuricu as an innocent "awakened" creature, and a gift of the so-called "Sixth World." The "great" dragon Dunkelzahn soon arrived in his astral form, and also addressed the crowds on the importance of living in harmony with innocent creatures like the picuricu.
But is the picuricu really so innocent? Would a corporation like Federated Boeing, which handles vast contracts for the UCAS military, supplies the world with safe aircraft, and employs over two-hundred thousand Seattlites, wantonly kill an innocent and harmless little bird?
The fact is that the picuricu, for those in any business related to aircraft or remote-sensing drones, is a known nuissance and, all too often, a killer.
The "awakend" form of the common thrush (H. mustelina), the picuricu is nocturnal and navigates by emitting ultra-high pitched cries. These cries, though innaudible to metahumans, can play havoc with modern sonar and sensor systems. Any pilot will tell you, loss of ultrasonic sensors can easily mean loss of life to hundreds of air comuters, and the thousands of real innocents who live in the houses below. Is it any wonder why Federated Boeing, in the interest of the public safety, and at no cost to the public, destroys picuricu flocks?
Unfortunately, despite evidence of the deadly nature of this "gift to the 'Sixth world,'" two of the more radical presidential hopefulls seem to be firmly in the camp of the "innocent" picuricu. Should either Vogel or Dunkelzahn be elected POTUCAS, we may see corps like Federated Boeing shut down by overbearing legislation designed to ensure that plane-killing birds have a home, but hard working Seattlites don't.
Rather than denounce the angry gathering, Vogel rushed to a podium (already built when he arrived), and addressed the crowd. Vogel thanked the rioters for coming, then spoke of the UCAS' duty to put the rights of paranormal animals over those of "oppressive" corporate interests. He defended the pricuricu as an innocent "awakened" creature, and a gift of the so-called "Sixth World." The "great" dragon Dunkelzahn soon arrived in his astral form, and also addressed the crowds on the importance of living in harmony with innocent creatures like the picuricu.
But is the picuricu really so innocent? Would a corporation like Federated Boeing, which handles vast contracts for the UCAS military, supplies the world with safe aircraft, and employs over two-hundred thousand Seattlites, wantonly kill an innocent and harmless little bird?
The fact is that the picuricu, for those in any business related to aircraft or remote-sensing drones, is a known nuissance and, all too often, a killer.
The "awakend" form of the common thrush (H. mustelina), the picuricu is nocturnal and navigates by emitting ultra-high pitched cries. These cries, though innaudible to metahumans, can play havoc with modern sonar and sensor systems. Any pilot will tell you, loss of ultrasonic sensors can easily mean loss of life to hundreds of air comuters, and the thousands of real innocents who live in the houses below. Is it any wonder why Federated Boeing, in the interest of the public safety, and at no cost to the public, destroys picuricu flocks?
Unfortunately, despite evidence of the deadly nature of this "gift to the 'Sixth world,'" two of the more radical presidential hopefulls seem to be firmly in the camp of the "innocent" picuricu. Should either Vogel or Dunkelzahn be elected POTUCAS, we may see corps like Federated Boeing shut down by overbearing legislation designed to ensure that plane-killing birds have a home, but hard working Seattlites don't.
9 comments:
Fed Boeing shouldn't stop with the picuricu. They should wipe out the stonebinders next! Hell, there isn't an awakened animal I've ever heard of that did anything but harm to people. Kill 'em all, I'd say.
What do you expect from Vogel? He won't stop until nobody in Seattle has jobs. He killed Hawkshorne Chemical and put thousands of people on the street, for what?!?!? to save a river and some awakened otter with unicorn wings and a hat full of fairy dust?
Its simple-
1: Dems/Greens (One World my hoop)hate America
2: Dwarves hate real humans with jobs cause they can't have jobs because they can't see over the counter. So they try to bring us down to their level (lolzat)
3: Good ol' Kenny Brackhaven's gonna win in a landslide and take this country back where it belongs...to its old self!
Can you feel the fearmongering? Aircrashes? Houses below? There has never been a reported aircraft crash due to picuricu interference.
NOT ONE.
The corps wipe the birds out because they cause irritating static.
The truth of the matter is, those birds are operating on bandwidth they're not paying for. It's no different than getting rid of gophers chewing up a golf course. The land belongs to someone. So do those frequencies.
Harmless? I'm guessing you've never researched the effect the kind of squeeling a flock (screech?) of those things can have on certain paranimal security creatures. Actually, hmm... let it never be said the posts on Newsfax are completely worthless.
I'm sorry, but if Boeing's sensors can't handle birdcalls, I think the solution may be to build a better sensor, rather than to eradicate a species.
Doog...that is a very interesting turn of thought...you'll have to tell me more when we have the time.
As for the protest itself, I can say, authoritatively, that the protest was NOT organized or conceived of by either or any of the presidential candidates. What we have learned is ONLY that Dunk and Vogel are opportunistic. Which--given that this is a special election spurred by a fault in the last one--is a fact that we already should have known.
As for the picuricu...I dunno...I can think of a lot of uses for a natural jamming device. Seems like you could use it for, say, making a giant helicopter disappear from radar...
Save the Pikachu!!!
Well, "that" was "certainly" a "newspaper article".
Leaving aside the pros v. cons of the pricuricu, there's no way that Boeing protest was staged by one of the candidates. Neither one is dumb enough to organize something like that and allow their competition to get word. Still, I haven't seen such blatant pandering since...well, since the last election.
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